An odd topic I suppose, but something I’m beginning to discover as I step away from being a kajira…

In Gor, you kneel, you dance, you serve, and then you fur. The sexual fantasy is that you are a slave, if you did anything else it wouldn’t be Gorean.

Yes those dreaded words “un-gorean” or “disney gor”. It leaves a lot of us chained to cultish guidelines that can be grounds for ostracizing an individual. It also leaves a lot of us confused, since Norman wasn’t exactly Tolkien, but rather a third rate smut peddler who was just interested in making money on a not so original idea. Because of this, one book can say one thing, and another can completely contradict itself. Why? I’ve always felt that it’s because he’s trying to appeal to as wide of an audience as possible. Some people like the idea of Free Women being more cherished, some people like the idea of slaves being the most valued. You can find a million quotes supporting each, and honestly I don’t think one is more right than the other, it’s just a point of view of one character. But are these characters the all knowing authority? No, and we could go round and round with this logic until the end of time.

My point? SL is full of burnt out Goreans who came to similar realizations, Gor can be boring and repetitive.

How does this relate to the title… well in a very indirect way I suppose, although in hindsight it seems like a “duh”.

When my Master re-collared me, he took me to the infamous Lulu’s Playroom to buy me cuffs. After doing so he asked if I wanted a gag cuff as well. I admit it got my heart racing but then he added, “even if gags aren’t really gorean.” I still said yes, but the thought that idea of sexual play being unacceptable stuck in my mind.

Time goes by, and we decide to leave Gor. I was at a lost in a lot of ways, what this meant sexually hadn’t even occurred to me originally. But when my Master asked me the first time of how I wanted to be dominated, I realized that half of it was about sexual fantasies. Here was a chance to try something new, to not be worried about the rules mandated by a fictional world, and I unwittingly jumped on it.

It was and is amazing to explore new fantasies while still being submissive. As a kajira I’d never dream of playing the sweet school girl, the naughty nurse, the modest maid… really any outfit I think would be pleasing and fun. I’d never take initiative and wait for my Master to come home, covered in whip cream. It’s un-gorean! And I love it.

Sex isn’t everything, and I certainly hope not if your relationship exists purely in SL. But it can be another form of domination, and it’s a shame that the limitations of Gor can restrict this exploration. Leaving Gor doesn’t have to be the only answer of course. What I feel happens is a bit of hindsight bias. After the fact you say “oh well yeah… no brainer.” But in the moment of being a kajira, you never really think of exploring. So! My hope is if it is something you are interested in doing, then speak to your Master or Mistress. Gor can never really control what you do behind closed doors after all.

As a side note, the whip cream is from Szentasha Salome’s store. An amazing place! It’s explained more fully at Sexy Second which is a fun fashion blog that reviews a lot of different styles, including silks.