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One of the reasons I love being out of Gor is being able to explore new things in a new environment. Most gorean roleplay can become a little stale and so I encourage roleplayers to join a second sim for a bit of fun without compromising their first sim or their roleplay in slavery.
A great example is Karamoon! -insert shameless sim plug here-
Well rather, The Keep, which allows slavery to take place amongst its inhabitants and is constantly waging war against The Port.
My Master is the right hand man of the Dark Lord of the Keep, and so of course when things started to brew yesterday my Master and I were with the General, making preparations for battle. I was quite excited because I had been given the ok to go outside of the Keep during the fighting. One of the nice things about combat is that no one is trying to steal slaves (at least so far) and there is no killing without consent (because it’s permanent) so if the worse was to happen I’d be captured and it’d be a bit of interesting rp that wouldn’t threaten the relationship between my Master and I.
So imagine as I grow more and more excited to watch when the Dark Lord does something a bit odd.
The Dark Lord looks down on essie.
“Mmmmm… Junta may I ask the use of your girl?”
“Of course my Lord.”
Essie tightens up, her eyes wide behind her mask as she nods slightly.
The Dark Lord smiles, “Essie, while we fight I want you to go about and light fire to The Port’s buildings.”
Essie trembles slightly but nods, “Anything for my Lord.” She says softly.
The Dark Lord’s smile widens as he passes her starting oil. “Good, I know you’ll do well.”
Of course that was slightly edited to leave out names, plus I lost the chat! -grumbles- But I assure that I was commanded to do so, by the General himself! I was given an important task you’d never find in the craziest of Gorean sims and I was ecstatic, but at the same time worried that my cover as a sweet innocent slave would be blown as I run about and light fires to the Port’s precious buildings. But an order is an order, I donned my mask, and headed out behind my Master and the other warriors.
There was a standoff and I hid in some bushes and scanned the area for targets, hoping that no one would attack me because I was an obvious weak target. Then my Master shouted to me, “Now!”, the fighting started and after a bit of hesitation (I admit) I ran to the closest building and started dousing it with flames.
The fighting ended fairly quickly, the Dark Lord winning of course as we burned the fae tree to the ground. I ran about more freely finding anything that looked unKeeply and throwing more flames on it before finally I joined my Master’s side and we returned home with a few captured warriors.
A few hours went by as my flames burned bright, and then, as I expected, the flames were returned to me. I panned my camera because of the large gathering of Portsies at the damaged area and I was shocked!
The building I set fire to was demolished!
Instead of bickering of what is valid rp or not, the building that was lit fire to and not put out collapsed as it would in the real world, and done by a slave no less! The sight was breathtaking, and to know that I did that… sure you could say it’s a power trip, but to me it’s knowing that I did this as an order, and something to make my Master proud of. And he was!
Oh it was a good day in the land of roleplay.
So I’m sure that many have been eagerly watching my profile and blog to catch a glimpse of what my Master and I were going to do next.
Fascination with the abomination I suppose as we all sit and see if this relationship with crash and burn.
Well I have good news, we’ll make it! And although I’m not suppose to talk about our relationship any longer on this blog, I find this relevant to the journey of submission.
The truth is, I wasn’t as submissive as I thought I was. I liked being in second life and having fun and hiding behind Essie. The idea of voice and webcam just seemed like something that I could wait for. And I suppose because my Master has had a history of dismissing previous girls desires to move forward, I was surprised to find he desired to move forward. Not only surprised but unwilling to jump forward. Being told to get on webcam and to do more than just see one another’s face was a true test of my submission and I have to admit the first few weeks were not by best days.
In my own defense, however, it was the end of the school year, added with lots of birthdays for me to spend my hard earned money on, papers, a wedding, and an exchange student to house for, add that all together and throw in a dash of new degrees in a relationship and you find a very confused and bitter Essie.
The thing is, as a friend of mine agreed with, these fights need to happen. They are hurtles to jump over together and often times when you do manage to work out the kinks you find a deeper understanding of yourself and your partner in any type of relationship. I understand what my Master commands and expects from me and he understands where I need more support and encouragement in my weaker areas.
That’s really the advice I have for any kajirae who find themselves in a tough spot. Just hang in there, stay calm, and do your best to talk and more importantly, to listen. It can be especially hard for those of us who live a double life of a strong woman with an invisible collar on her neck, and that’s where it is best to talk and try to communicate your confusion. Of course I’ve said that a million times on this blog I’m sure. But it still stands true!
All in all, things are smooth again with my Master. School is over. I got a promotion at my job (more money=happy times). I can write in my blog again. I’m on vacation! Wedding was great! I get to be even closer to my Master. And we’re looking at Gorean sims again. I thank all the support I’ve had, from readers and friends (they’re all the same, right?).
As they say, you need the rain to make the flowers bloom.
So today was spent in Iaomai, mainly because my Master and I wanted to see what the big deal was.
Oh lordy did we find out!
First of all, the arrows lead to the mall, not to the sim. If you’d like to find the sim, go the opposite way of the arrows. Duh.
My Master and I, however, were not bright enough to figure this out so we finally found a warrior to point us the way. He was very helpful ^^ had very bright earrings ^^ and really liked to use ^^
He summoned a girl who was also quite helpful although I have a couple of complaints. First of all, the guest meter attaches to the spine. So… I put it on and pop goes my collar. It’s a very minor complaint, but honestly! The spine?
The second complaint, the entire tour is prescripted and every girl there uses the same script. So I got to hear bites of other people getting the exact same tour. There are pro’s to this, the first being it’s very stressful to give tours and I am well aware of that. The script was well written and I did find it very informative, but the cons are that you don’t really get on a very personal level with the girls. In a way the whole experience felt very commercialized. Big huge mall, concept entirely built on selling girls, and automated tours.
The buildings were, however, amazing. I loved every bit of it, but their placement was hodge podged. I suppose the idea was to put one building on each little island, but there were no roads or connection and I found myself very disoriented to the entire area.
Beyond that, I do think Iaomai does train some wonderful girls and the careful process they go through is unlike most sims, but on the same hand it seems to have turned into a machine that pumps out girls as best it can. I admit, further surveillance would bring me a better and more informed answer, but first impressions are the most important and this impression was not a great one.
My Master and I have begun the scary scary adventure of exploring Gorean sims.
His rules are simple. He isn’t interested in drama or panther sims.
Mine are simpler. I don’t want to be in a dead sim.
To find both might be a bit hard, but as I said, I’d rather look through every sim and find the perfect place then get stuck with something we don’t like, and if that place doesn’t exist… oh well! I have my Master, that is more than enough for me.
First stop, Ko-Ro-Ba…
A lifestyler sim. One that holds interesting discussions from time to time, but beyond that… dead. There was a resident of the sim there while we visited, but she did not come to greet us.
Now in fairness, I did visit again at another time of the day and the Ubar and several kajirae were there along with him, but once again I did not feel welcome. They were off in the middle of the sim chatting and I was stuck at the intro center. No one bothered to move, no one probably noticed, and so I left once more discouraged.
The build is also a bit gaudy. Bright flags everywhere along with floating rings (which I zoomed in on for five minutes to make sure it wasn’t just me… nope there are random floating rings!) and glowing blue spheres. Yes I know Ko-Ro-Ba was a sight to see with its starch white towers… but I feel that the makers of this sim missed the target and it looks more to me like legoland than Ko-Ro-Ba.
On to a Turian Gate!
Our first impression was a great one! We sat at the “pit” and watched girls dance and talked with a few leisurely. But I began to notice something was slightly off as we stayed longer. The girls do not emote their dances, there is no “OOC”, and it doesn’t matter if you are visiting or their slave, you must speak in third person.
Of course I didn’t until the maker of the sim commanded me to, adding “in this medium we feel that it makes a girl feel her submission deeper.”
“Oh woe for the Masters and the girls who can only feel like kajirae if they speak in third!” I dearly wanted to cry out, but I bit my tongue on that point for my Master’s sake and spoke in third (sparingly) but my old argument of saying “This girl belongs to my Master Junta Kuhr” popped into my head again. Is not “my” first person? Should I rather say, “This one’s Master?” And furthermore! Who gave this man the right to tell Junta Kuhr’s slave what to do! She feels her submission through much more than piddly words, and how dare you take aware the ability for my Master to punish me with slave speak (as it was intended for!)
Aaanyway, as I steamed my Master attempted to show the girls at the Gate what it means to dance by requesting that I dance. After a lengthy sermon that I best not be crass, I was allowed to do so. I feel that everyone but the leader loved my dance, but to my horror after I stepped off another girl entered and simply animated her dance!
I understand that girls can’t be the center of attention all the time, but I felt that even just a little bit of emotes would have been so much better than a quiet dance.
But I feel I’ve beaten this scenario to death. The tour was nice I suppose. But you do realize all the Gates has is its market (which is a part of the city) and the pit. The rest… deserted. There is a grotto, which is gorgeous but it looks quite neglected.
So the Gates are out as well… where to next? I have no idea.
You didn’t hear it from me… but my Master and I may or may not be looking to join a Gorean city. He is leaning towards lifestylers… I really don’t mind as long as the roleplay is satisfactory.
Any suggestions?
Also… I’ll be writing again soon 
It is with the deepest regret that I must announce a short… or long term… hiatus from this blog by my Master’s request.
I hope to be back as soon as possible… with new insights to share, but for now I must take a bow.
Until next time…
Thank you all for your support.
Ok so I made a little bit of a mistake before concerning my rather gushing presentation of Kajira Heat… the silks weren’t in the stores yet!
Ooops!
But! I have good news, they are in the stores now!
And I can up it… here are the links!
“Would Thou venture thither with Thy vague and undefined promise of freedom, which men, dull and unruly as they are by nature, are unable so much as to understand, which they avoid and fear?– for never was there anything more unbearable to the human race than personal freedom!”
“There exists no greater or more painful anxiety for a man who has freed himself from all religious bias, than how he shall soonest find a new object or idea to worship. But man seeks to bow before that only which is recognized by the greater majority, if not by all his fellow men, as having a right to be worshiped; whose rights are so unquestionable that men agree unanimously to bow down to it. For the chief concern of these miserable creatures is not to find and worship the idol of their own choice, but to discover that which all others will believe in, and consent to bow down to in a mass. It is that instinctive need of having a worship in common that is the chief suffering of every man, the chief concern of mankind from the beginning of times. It is for that universality of religious worship that people destroyed each other by sword. Creating gods unto themselves, they forwith began appealing to each other: “Abandon your deities, come and bow down to ours, or death to ye and your idols!” And so will they do till the end of this world; they will do so even then, when all the gods themselves have disappeared, for then men will prostrate themselves before and worship some”
-Ivan from The Brothers Karamazof (Fyodor Dostoyevsk)
It’s funny you call yourself a kajira at all Estrella, you dismiss most of Norman’s ideas and rules. You call him an idiot! You scoff at his “literary genius”! You laugh at the contradictions and blast the blind followers. You bracelet now instead of nadu, you call no man Master but your own, you still cling to some onlinisms. You’re getting married for goodness sake!
Ah so true… so true. But I would gladly argue I have a much deeper understanding of what it means to be a kajira than most of the silk donning women in that pixelated world.
You’re blog has gone to your head! Pardon me, but you’re as full of shit as you claim Norman to be.
Maybe so… but if you’re willing to listen I’ll explain why I think so.
Please.
Why do many girls do what they do in second life? Why do they nadu, why do they turn their head to the left, why do they wear camisks?
It is because they are taught to do so! You would know so if you’d read more of the books.
I’ve read enough to know they are hair brained and full of contradictions. Now listen… I have been taught the same lessons, gave the same instructions, and why? Because they are the rules given by Norman, vague as his rules are. And believe me, there were many times where I wished that dolt would end our misery and write a dry, start to finish, how-to guide of Gor. I was so tired of the notorious pissing matches, and I thought, “Surely if Norman is aware of this insanity we engage in to be more gorean he would gladly seize the opportunity to make more money and create this guide once and for all.”
That would be incredibly dull.
Exactly my point! I craved universal order so deeply I was willing to throw away personal freedoms, personal interpretations, creativity, imagination, and love. I was willing to give that all up to the dull god of uniformity. I may personally find kar-ta a beautiful pose that expresses the deepest submission, but if Norman said it was out, then I would have dropped it without a second thought. I realize now, however, that perhaps Norman deserves some credit for his strategy, that he’s not the blind fool I so often portray him as.
What changed this desire of yours?
I left Gor! Suddenly those lifeless books would not help me anymore. I was plucked from counter earth and placed in my Master’s home. There were no tarns, no castes, no taverns, no Priest Kings… only my Master and the collar on my neck.
I was immediately asked how I wished to serve my Master, what I wanted to see in our relationship, and perhaps it is that simple question that set the new tone of my understanding. Do I want to kar-ta? Do I want to call others Master? Do I want to show my submissiveness to anyone else?
Every rule I suddenly had to examine and decide for myself, should I do this? Is this what I want? Is this what my Master wants? And soon the personal rules we have created together have become so complex and alive and unable for anyone else to understand that to an outsider it appears I have deceived myself in thinking I am a kajira. But I am la kajira.
I can tell you exactly why I do what I do, with more than a piddly “it’s in the books.” Who cares? Are the books alive? Will they judge you? Validate your submission? I know plenty who follow the books and yet act nothing like a kajira. Every movement, every rule is one either given by my Master with logical reasoning, or one reached through discourse by the both of us. There is nothing that is simply “just because” as is so often the case in Gor.
What you say may be true, but you are still a fool!
Why is that?
Every rule reached through discourse? Are you honestly suggesting each and every city in second life do the same? Tell me, dear Estrella, how many societies have been able to obtain such an achievement? What you suggest would bring chaos to these cities, there would be so much spite and anger over something as simple as a position that the world you often characterize as dark and chaotic would tear apart into nothingness, or worse, hundreds of new cities would be born with only a handful of citizens in each, the very few who could agree with each other, and when an objection arises (which it will), that small handful of people will split to even smaller groups and form new cities. So tell me, is this really what you are suggesting?
No… I agree human nature makes it quite impossible. But does that mean blind following is the right answer?
No… Then what shall we do?
Personal freedom is the greatest source of human misery.
