Today

Today I found out more information about my Hellenos days that got me reeling again.

See I’ve always been a firm believer that the kennels of a city need to have financial support. City slaves, if cared for properly, are expensive. Many need new skins, shapes, eyes, lashes, hair, pictures and silks (and not the lousy city provided silks). Most are poor and can’t afford these things on their own and often go without.

I’ve always felt that a kennel should be able to provide all of these things for their new girls. One, it’s good for the girls to build trust with their city and fondness for their home. (So many Torian girls reminisce still over our shopping sprees and how we were the best looking girls in Gor.) And two it attracts more girls to join the city and be faithful because they know they too will have some kind of reward if they stick to it. (Who wants to be trained, look ugly, have no money to change that and then go to a poor Master?) And so when in Hellenos I attempted to create a financial system to support my ideals.

The first step was through events. I was only able to hold one but it was quite successful, I was able to buy all the chore items I thought was necessary for the city to grow. The second step was through a tip jar I left in the tavern.
I paid for the tip jar script myself, 5,000L. I was promised to be paid back for it, but when I asked a few times it became clear I was not going to be paid back. And so, after speaking to the Ubar (the only person who took seriously that I was the FG and deserved some attention from the admins), I decided until the debt was paid, I would receive all funds (minus the portion that went to the tipped girl).

It didn’t work though, Hellenos was a dead city. No city girls were ever able to last longer than a week, and certainly none could dance. And so after having it “accidentally” returned a few times I gave up and kept it for myself and later refused the offering to be paid back (seeing as I was keeping it for myself now.)

What I learned today is that my motives were heavily questioned as to why I put the tip jar there. Even tested out by people who had asked for my forgiveness for their poor behavior. Although not one person ever came to me and asked, and I do believe I sent out a notice explaining that until the debt was repaid that a portion of the money would go back to me instead of the cash avi there, it was still questioned.

And so I sit here, wondering why on earth I’m throwing myself so deeply into this next project when my past reminds me that it doesn’t matter what your intentions are, that for what ever reason, SL Gor harbors people who would rather create doubt through whispers than simply talk to the person they doubt and get things cleared up.