Going With Your Master

So I’m sure one of the first arguments to my last post goes along the lines of, “Ok fine, but you’re a slave. Aren’t you always suppose to do what your Master tells you to do?”

Well yes, obviously I am currently in a position of transferring as much power to my Master as I can at this point in our relationship. But for the sake of the argument let’s pretend I am writing from my Master’s computer now, in his home, in a flow blown relationship with him.

I’d still have the same rule that if I commit to a Master, he must commit to me.

Why? Because it is something fundamental in myself, that I can not change nor can my Master change. If he were to try, I’d be a very unhappy individual, and if I am unhappy then I can not serve the man who is causing me so much damage to the fullest. In fact, I may even resent him for hurting me in such a deep way.

I truly believe that there are core principles in slaves that a Master must be able to recognize as a part of his or her very being and can not simply be changed at will. A slave is in some ways clay to be molded as the Master sees fit, but he can not take away clay, or add more at his will. To do so is not Mastering someone, but trying to change exactly who and what they are, and the only way I know of that to be possible is by brainwashing, which isn’t Mastering at all, just abuse.

Now I’m not saying if a Master is able to successfully change the views of a slave that is brainwashing. It’s a very blurry line the way I have described it so far, but to me, the difference is how strongly the slave feels about a particular aspect of themselves. For me, living with multiple women is something that I am so strongly against that I will not even consider getting close to a Master who has that in mind. For others that may be something they aren’t sure about, and are willing to try after some persuasion from their Master. Each aspect is unique to the people involved, and thus I’ll never try to draw a line as to what is “abuse” and what is “domination”.

So there it is, some may say that even with this definition of submission I’ve created for myself is wrong and that may certainly be true for themselves, but it is the definition I have created for myself and now live by.

Going With Yourself

When I first returned to my Master’s chain I was in for a bit of a shock one night when we were timidly speaking of the future. His idea of a family had changed in response to my leaving…

He wanted two slaves.

We argued a bit, my original point to him being that it was fine, but he shouldn’t expect me to fulfill that role. I didn’t understand why then we needed to argue further after I made it clear I wasn’t going to interfere at the time, but now I think it’s safe to assume he continued the argument because he did not want to loose me in real life terms.

The reason I never will allow myself to share my husband or partner with another woman is quite simple. I want the perfect family for myself. I don’t want to share my children, or have to compromise with three people on how to raise them (two seems hard enough), I don’t want to watch other people’s children, I don’t want to share my husband, and the list goes on. After I had made that stance he said this, “It hurts to hear you say that my choice is not a perfect family. Your vanilla views seem to imply that anyone who does not fit is illegitimate, such as a homosexual relationship.”

I don’t think that’s what I was trying to say at all, especially since I had insisted what ever he did was fine as long as he understood I was not a part of it. But the part about being too vanilla to see the world differently did bother me.

Weeks later, in fact, even after my Master changed his views once again, it was still on my mind.

Would I have felt different if I was not so “vanilla”?

It bothered me so much so that I finally spoke to Spice, albeit in a round about way.

“I use to worry about the same thing sometimes. If my social conditioning was creating exactly who I am.”
“And?”
“Sure, social conditioning exists, but once we realize it exists we have the choice to go with it or against it. We have to do what feels is right, and sometimes that means we do agree with what our society teaches us. There’s nothing wrong with that so long as we stop to analyze ourselves first.
“I know for a fact, Kay, you are a very unique individual who has created your own path. You’re not going along with anything because of social conditioning, you’re going along because it’s what is right for you.”

Sometimes I should talk to Spice sooner.

For in this case, he is right. I know what I want for myself, I’ve stopped to analyze it again and again, and in the end I know it will not make me happy.

Now I’ll repeat once more so I don’t get any blazing emails about how the lifestyle works for so and so. I am not saying it is wrong for society. I am saying it is wrong for me.

I’m not vanilla, or prude, or a bigot. I’m just me… and I can’t go against myself.

Hur-…. wait?

Yesterday a conflict that has been going on ever since I’ve entered Olni finally reached its climax that ended in the fugitive in question being confronted and allowing himself to be taken into prison.

Of course only after more arguing.

See, as everyone will soon find out I’m sure, the problem wasn’t just that the person in question insulted the chief magistrate in public.  If this was a one time offense, I don’t think anyone would have cared. The real problem was actually that for many months now this person has badgered person after person in IM about IC characters and events but when confronted about it, he turns around and says “Oh you can’t get me for that! I was OOC!” Well I’m all for freedom of OOC … to an extent. But when you try to undermine the authority of those in charge (not just the Ubar but anyone with an ounce of power in the city) in IM… there should be consequences… especially if it’s not just one person who complains about this IM harassment, not just two, or three… but dozens.

So yes, Olni finally arrested him. I support the action wholeheartedly even though I knew it would incite drama and that the one arrested would claim it was all an attempt to keep him from winning the election. It’s a sticky situation, but enough is enough… and many people came forward and supported the action.

So my Master moved to arrest him. Which of course draws a scene.

This is where the trouble started I feel.

First of all, once the arguing began, as it was bound to. The Free Women present resorted to the typical social conditioning of our world to berate men via emotes. “Oh there they go again, just being macho.” It’s typical really. Many Mistresses will claim that they are the most subjugated creatures in all of gor, but it is in these instances where they destroy their entire argument.
Could a slave insult the men in such a way? Of course not… and quite frankly, neither should Free Women. When they do act in such a manner, they turn into the disgruntled housewives we watch on tv who have to “deal” with their dumb and macho husbands in every episode.
It’s what so many of us came to gor to escape from… so why is it that usually when these comments are made by Free Women they are ignored and unpunished?
Are they really the most subjugated entities in Gor when they are allowed to speak what is on their mind, insult Masters slyly, and attempt to influence kajirae to follow their own good senses which are obviously more correct than any Master’s?
I think not.

So that was what first got me to grind my teeth silently. My Master trying to do his job, knowing tempers would flare, and having some airy Mistresses in the background act as if they were above all this.

Then came the warrior.

He first caught my attention by feeding a piece of candy to a girl, which always makes me roll my eyes. Word from the wise, don’t ever hand me a candy IC. Oh I’ll take it, but it will go something like this…

Estrella’s eyes widen to twice their size as she seizes the candy, bouncing up and down like a little girl as she pops the candy into her mouth. “Oooooh thaaaank you!” She begins to giggle loudly as she eats the treat, her head bobbing up and down, wiggling back and forth… etc etc etc

The warrior then proceeds to mutter about how this is all just a bunch of drama, and he’s disappointed in Olni and how he’s above such pettiness and blah blah blah. But of course, he never leaves, he just stands there, watches, and complains.
After the arrest had taken place, the people in charge going where they need to go, he stayed and was still complaining, albeit in a very thinly veiled package. At that point my Master crashed and a slave joined in his whine fest about Olni.

At this point, I ask two things. First, if Olni is such a hell hole, why does anyone stay?
Second, if anyone is truly above such petty drama, why do they sit and watch?
The first question is a hard one to answer, some people stay because they have hope, some because there is actually no where better to go, some because they do like some things about Olni… on and on the list goes.
The second is quite easy to answer…
Because they are not above the pettiness. They just emote that they are.

What’s worse is these people who chose to emote their godly ways are actually making the situation worse. Instead of being quiet and letting it play out, they cause the tension to increase with their negative comments, causing the problem to escalate faster and possibly get out of hand as people begin to get frustrated and turn that frustration on them.
So I ask, kindly, if you ever feel yourself about to type about how petty the situation before you is, just leave. Go. Run! Don’t even add that you’re leaving because you’re better. Actually be better and leave in a dignified way. I beg of you! Before it’s too late and you tarnish your good name with the need to type out how great you are.

And then, my good men and women, you truly will be above the drama.

Ni-sai

Two years ago… on this day… I got screwed!

You see everything was a secret, worse yet it was a secret we denied to ourselves.

She looks so good in blue…

He’s so strong with his girls…

It was perhaps because of this denial, this attraction from afar that resulted in a collaring of convenience. We both knew that the collar would cause drama, but a part of us (a part we were trying to deny) wanted each other and were willing to risk it.

Since then, I’ve tried to take the collar around my neck off again and again…. to no avail. It’s stuck. I’m stuck… I am his and that is not negotiable.

Happy two years my Master.

Observations of an Ubar

I imagine the following will apply to admins and caste leaders as well, but I think I’ll stick with what I know. So here it is, what I’ve learned from observing my Master over the years and especially in the past few weeks.

First and foremost, you will always be wrong. Always! In the best case scenarios some people will be happy with what you have done and some people will not be happy. In the worse case scenario, everyone will say they are happy and then turn around and complain when you aren’t around. You’ll always tick somebody off, being an Ubar is a position that makes enemies, not friends.

On paper you may be the strongest man in the city but in reality you are everyone’s slave. You will spend all hours trying to solve every problem presented to you, even the ridiculous ones where someone else was suppose to solve the problem, not you.

Kiss your slut’s heat goodbye! The days where you would have nice fuck at your leisure are gone and even if you do find the time to get started, there’s a 70% chance that you’ll be called away from some disaster and a 100% chance that someone will start screaming at you in IMs. If it’s a man on the line, you have a good chance of buying time by saying quite bluntly, “Look… I’m rolling in the furs at the moment, can I get back to you?” But if it’s a woman, forget it. Many FW may claim that they are the most subjected people in all of gor, but men know better… after all, there’s no good and easy way to get one to shut up when they’re on a roll.

You’ll have to fend off gold diggers on a daily basis. On the outside most of these slaves and Free Women are harmless, but they can be disheartening as they pursue you only for the fact of your title. What’s worse is they often see those who have been loyal on your chain from the beginning as the problem and will stop at nothing to make the lives of your loved ones miserable in an attempt to get what they want. For seasoned kajirae and FC’s this is no problem (they may even enjoy the challenge as it gives them something to justly focus their frustrations on), but for the newer girls who went from being the sweet little white silk to the most hated girl in the city it can be quite a shock. The gold digger may even be successful in scaring off one of your girls but of course you’d never take on such a whore so it all goes to waste.

On a good day your kajirae will sit by your feet patiently knowing that you can not help the situation you’re in and offer her services the moment you call upon her. On a bad day she will be at the end of her ropes and after asking for help in such and such area with no response for several minutes she will have had enough. She’ll either leave quietly and refuse to return until the situation is remedied and she receives attention or she will leave and start yelling at you in IMs until the situation is remedied and she receives attention.

You will make a lot of enemies, sometimes for obscure reasons. After a while some may team up to find ways to bring about your downfall. Sometimes in spreading nasty rumors, sometimes in convincing people to leave, and sometimes by creating alts who make you jump through hoops in an attempt to prove what a horrible person you are. Suddenly every mistake you’ve made as an Ubar and as a citizen becomes relevant. When people explain why they are leaving they will list off some vague, obscure, and sometimes even untrue action you have partaken in months ago. It never seems to occur to them to hear out your side of the story or to hold themselves to the same standards, that would be inconvenient.

You will become the scape goat in almost every situation. Often times if you are not available someone will claim that you ordered them to do what ever it is that they are doing wrong. City slaves hit on this hard if they don’t want to be a part of the city. By the time you find out or are questioned, it’s too late, the girl has done her damage and everyone thinks it’s your fault.

Finally, you will never be appreciated for what you do. Especially if you are not the owner of the sim but instead a tool of the city. People will always think they can do your job better, they will never listen to your side of things, and all will assume because you are the most powerful person by gorean law you are the most satisfied.

And that is what I’ve observed as a girl in my Master’s chain. I’m sure he could add to the list in a million different ways but this is my attempt to help others see what I see and pity the most powerful man in Olni as I do.

Boomerang

I think I’ve purposely kept people in the dark long enough, and actually I’d continue to do so if I could but this blog might not make any sense if I continue to elude people of my whereabouts.

Indeed I have been collared once again.

By Junta Kuhr.

On the 12th of September we’ll be celebrating our two year anniversary. And yes we haven’t spent that entire time together, but there never has been a time where we’ve left each other’s hearts or minds, and each time we find one another again it has been for the best. So it only makes sense to celebrate that day where we truly got entangled in each other’s lives and unknowingly began to walk down the same path.

That’s all I’ll say for now, in the meantime I’ll be working hard on bringing this blog back to life in the next few weeks.